Just a few months ago, I did something I never thought I’d do. I yelled at my husband because of the poverty we’ve been suffering for so many years now. I yelled at him for being hungry. I yelled because we don’t have extra food and I was taking my frustrations out on him. He wasn’t doing anything wrong but I lost my cool. My anger turned into worry as I considered if this would create food issues. It then struck me, we are living in poverty.
Living in poverty is like being punched in the face over and over on a daily basis. It’s putting yourself out of a hole, only to fall over a cliff. I wish I had a plate full of good food. I remember when we have nothing to eat. The tears which I started to fight back started to flow. I was starving. I hadn’t eaten yet that day and find myself just staring at the plate wishing I had something to eat. You want to think positive but the idea of “WHAT’S NEXT” is always looming.
The future is more than uncertain and it feels that the ground under me can open at any moment and swallow me whole. And so, I prayed and prayed. I hoped. I told myself I should work hard to get our family out of this difficult situation. I and my husband will work together and help each other. It reminds us that even though life is hard right now, behind this is a brighter future awaits us. That the good still exists. And that God is still good and will always be.
To those who are undergoing hardships and difficulties now, I know it is not easy. Some people may think wrong of us and may have all the assumptions in the world about how we got here and how we will overcome all these and if it is possible but they never really know our true story. They never know how we tried and will keep trying. I believe God allows things to happen so we will see His mercy and goodness to work in our lives and that we depend on Him and not on earthly riches. I hope someday soon I will be able to share about how we struggled, how we survived poverty and how we came out on top by the grace of God – that would definitely be an interesting story to tell.
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