I think everyone experienced falling for someone, right? You meet someone new and it suddenly struck you that he is the One or that person was just a friend until you slowly fell in love with him. ‘In love’ is a term I will use in this article loosely for those who think they are. I think my awareness that I can fall in love started around age six, where I got butterflies and I got shy when my handsome cousin gave me a little attention. I can recall that I told my sister about it and she would get mad because she was ‘in love’ with him too and we would compete for his attention. It was so funny and a little awkward so we don’t talk about it anymore but this first time I felt these silly things I will always keep in the little corner of my heart.
Anyone who fell in love would relate when I say that when you would see him, your heart would gallop, wanting to run away with excitement and nervousness. You feel like there’s a halo around him, highlighting his charms and his handsomeness. You might even be smiling right now, remembering a certain someone. Everything was like a dream that you don’t want to wake up ever. Until weeks turn into months and jealousies that was cute at first begin to choke you. You began to fight over little things and you get a glimpse of another side of him. The handsome person you fell in love with began to change into someone you never met before, indicating that the scales finally fell off from your eyes. This could be a side of him that would appear once in a while when provoked or it is real him. I am angry with a friend of mine because her boyfriend is one of these guys. I recall telling her that I don’t like the guy since I feel that he’s just using his ‘pretty boy’ side to earn her regard. She replied that she was in love, so what can someone like me say about that? Months passed and I let them be, all the time wondering if the listless and pinched look my friend acquired recently was just imagined. She finally opened up that the guy has been verbally abusing her and they fight every day. He got jealous when she talked with other guys and restricted her from talking with her male classmates. She would submit and he would get angry still when she chose to just smile at them, telling her she is a ‘slut, bitch, and a cheater’. He even ranted when she got busy with work that she can’t give him the ‘us time’ at the appointed time. I fear that he is beating her up and she’s just bearing it silently. I can only sigh and get angry with her stubbornness since she still claims that she was in love and that he would change someday.
I think that is the reason why some women still stay with their partners. One thinks that she is the solution to his attitude problem. Let me tell you, the solution is not you, but him himself. He will only change if he wants to and not a day before. Stop thinking that if you stay, maybe things will change. If he is beating you up, have the courage to go and leave him. You are not someone who deserve any of these things and you should know your value. Don’t wait until he can finally leave you lying in a coffin before you decide that enough is enough. Scales that have fallen off are indications that the person you see now is not the person you ‘think’ you fell in love with.
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