Punishing Our Children

Most parents think of spankings, time-out as a discipline. When we punish our kids or even yell at them, they act aggressively. Children learn what they live. The most effective way to teach our kids is our constant modeling with compassion and understanding. Treat them the way we want them to treat others.

Studies show that punishing kids create more misbehavior. Punishment makes them angry and defensive. It disconnects us from our children so we have less influence on them.  Instead, why don’t we stay kind and connected while we set limits? Hence, we create less drama and more love.  Can we really guide our children without punishments? 

1.  You’re the role model. Take a deep breath and stay calm before you address a certain situation.

2. If you’re child’s into meltdown, refrain from reasoning with him. Create safety with compassion so he/she can go through the emotions that are causing bad behavior. Trust me, he/she will be more open to your guidance.

3. Stay connected before correcting your child.

4. Set rules with empathy. When kids feel understood, they’re more able to accept rules.

I really don’t see the point of punishment. The goal of punishment is to cause discomfort to your child. It creates “you vs. your child” rift. This divide closeness and communication. Structure and limits are essential but when you punish, you reduce the child’s ability to focus on another experience and be accountable. Be firm to give them the attention rules and boundaries they need. Overall, remember that knowing how to discipline your child is rooted in helping them learn how to make the right choice, not by punishment.

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