Being a working mother has been one of the greatest challenges I have faced in life. Juggling both my career at work and my family at home is very taxing; notwithstanding the fact that I have also other responsibilities aside from being both an employee and a mother. I am also a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a partner, and the list goes on. At one point in life, the challenges and pressures are so great that I am pushed to my limits. My patience is put to test.
There is something at home that makes me really glad. And so I started to hope, to desire of it and to pray for it. Then I prayed harder and I prayed crying that I will be able to afford it and much more I will have the bravery and courage to do it. Believe me, it is sooooooooo hard! It was not just like waking up one day and I just wanted to quit! This has been a job I have dreamed of since I was young and this company where I worked for more than ten (10) years now has been a big blessing to me. I could not ask for more. From my first airplane ride, to my first stay at a 5-star hotel and my first trip abroad, those were with this company. The benefits I and my family enjoyed are being envied. My current position and the team I have grown to love made this decision more difficult.
It was a gradual process of realizations…and it was a result of years of prayers and contemplation. Filled with tears. So why I came to this point? Some might have thought I have gone crazy and that I am making a very unwise decision. I understand them very well and I can’t blame them anyway considering that life has become harder these days. Nothing is for free now. All must be bought in cash or in credit. We must be 'practical' as they say. That’s life has become.
My reason? Reasons actually. THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS LIFE MONEY CAN’T BUY. Here are a few of them:
Take good care of my own children.
Since my first child was born until my third child, I mostly leave the responsibility to another person to take care of my dear children. I leave my kids early in the morning to the care of someone. At many times, I arrive at home in the evening they are already asleep or most of the times, I am already so exhausted from work. So just think how much energy I am left to give them the quality care they need. Though just like any loving mothers, I always find time to make up for the lost quality time for my children. I always see to it that I would not be blamed that I have to leave them for work. That I would not be guilty for doing so from Mondays to Fridays…Most often than not, I bring them ‘something’ when I reached home and they always look forward for that ‘something’ no matter how simple or small it is. At least they will have reason why ‘Mommy’ has to go to work. But at the end of the day I realized, the time I lost and the quality care that I should have given them cannot be compensated with those daily ‘somethings’. They needed a mother who will always be there when they needed to pee, when they needed someone to cuddle them, when they cry and needed a lift and a hug, when they are hungry and needed to eat what they love, when they take their first steps and speak their first words...they needed a mother especially during these formative years in their life. They just needed me to be at home.
Take good care of my husband.
When I married my husband in 2011, I made a vow before God and man that ‘I will go where God wanted him to go’. He is actually a servant of the Lord and has been serving in the ministry and mission since the time I met him 10 years ago. The very reason I fell in love with him is his love for the Lord and his passion to serve Him. We share so much the same. My husband has been so supportive of my career working in a multinational company ever since and not even once that he asked me to quit my job. So basically this is just my plan and my decision. He simply supported me. I came to a point that I also would like my husband to reach his full potential in God’s calling in his life. It seems that I was not able to fulfill my vow, perhaps only partially but not really fully. This time, I desire to be with my husband and fulfill my role as a full-time wife by the grace of God.
Take good care my self.
There is one thing I would like to do for myself since I have missed doing it for some time already. That is to have DREAMS and to make those dreams happen. I think I almost forgot to dream, to aspire higher, and to reach something impossible. Considering I have already a regular full-time job, a happy growing family serving the Lord; I felt content and satisfied. But God reminded me there are still a lot to achieve in life and that we should not stop dreaming just like when we were a little child. I remembered when I started off in college, I dreamed to graduate with flying colors and so I studied hard in college and finished my degree on top of my class. It seemed impossible then while I was starting but with God’s help, I have realized that dream. Just recently I dreamed dreams and it fueled excitement and enthusiasm in me to fulfill those dreams. But if I will be settling on my stable job now, it would not be possible. Those dreams can be realized easily if I do not have an 8-5 work and if I am not secluded in the four corners of an office. Those dreams will perfectly support my fervent hopes and prayers to take care of my family and to be with them most of the time. I will be able to promote my advocacy along with reaching for those dreams. They will be consistent and will complement each other.
No matter how scary or risky this may seem, this will make me better and stronger. When we get out of our comfort zones and try something new, we learn to depend on God and not on our own selves. No matter how unclear the path but as long as we trust the Lord that He will guide us through, everything will properly fall into place. At the end of the day, whatever we aspire and achieve, we bring back all the glory & honor to Him. Home is where my treasure is, so there my heart be also.
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