I miss my grandmamma. Even though I only had one grandparent who was alive and well in my early teens, I loved her. As an avid reader, I would read about a sassy grandmamma who loved her grandchildren fiercely and I wished with all my heart that I had my grandmamma with me always. However, my grandmamma lived in the province while my family lived in the city. We could only visit her every once in a while and we would go the beach my dad always went to when he was a boy or we would stay at home and just watch movies with the family. These are the memories that I will always treasure in my heart.
Grandparents would profess that the ‘joy of their life’ was given to them by their children, these tiny babies who they call grandchildren. I would see a stern old man light up when his granddaughter would come toddling to him. The love that grandparents show is so heartwarming I sometimes wished I had my grandmamma with me too. Grandparents treat their grandchildren differently, old age giving them the privilege to be loving and cuddly with their cute grandchildren. Grandchildren who would visit their grandparents’ house are likely to leave full and bringing gifts with them, spoiled and coddled since it is not always they would come to visit. But what happens if grandchildren live with their grandparents since mom and dad are working? The grandchild who would only be spoiled and coddled whenever they visit would get spoiled on the daily basis. Grandparents as nannies are what I can describe as ineffective substitutes of the parents. They think that it is their ‘job’ to spoil their grandchildren rotten, making them vulnerable and easily swayed when the grandchild wants something. This is likely to bear the wrong character, where the spoiled rotten ‘baby’ becomes a conceited and selfish adult, demanding that his wants and needs be fulfilled. I am currently watching a baby in my class developing into this kind of person. Her mom and dad are working outside the city, leaving her with her maternal grandparents. She would grab her grandparents, point at whatever she wants and her grandparents would take it for her, be it food or another girl’s toy. I get dismayed since the grandparents would scold the owner to hide her toy if she would not let the ‘baby’ borrow it. The child who was blessedly healthy in weight would demand that she be carried and would shout and throw a tantrum until her old grandparents carry her. They would do everything for ‘baby’ girl.
I am at lost in how I can intervene before the child becomes irrevocably spoiled rotten, condemning her to the life of selfishness and conceitedness, where everything must go her way. She would probably face a lot more disappointment than others since she is used to having what she wants. For those young parents who contemplate leaving their kids to their grandparents please reconsider. The child would probably resent you when you take them from the grandparents who answered their whims. The child would see you as a ‘passing aunt’, like how the example above saw her mom. I don’t think that grandparents are bad, we love them so dearly but they just make bad nannies.
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